Every morning I visit my local convenience store to grab a cup of iced coffee, say hello to some local acquaintances and greet the various tree trimmers that seem to congregate there. It is my only shot at liquid caffeine for the day and I look forward to it. The parking lot is huge. I used to look for the first empty parking space and pull in. However, now I not only have to look for an empty space, but one that doesn’t have a massive puddle of old coffee on the ground next to the driver’s door.
On approximately 7,362 occasions, as I go about my daily routine, I have witnessed people getting into their car with a hot coffee or cold soda in hand. Once they are safely in their seat, they move to put their beverage in the cup holder, only to find a previously unfinished beverage taking up that coveted space. So, what is the only possible solution to creating space? Crack open the driver’s door and pour the stale beverage out. I understand the need to purge your old liquid, and there are plenty of places to do it.
It is a known fact brewed coffee is a great source of nitrogen for plants. It also contains calcium and magnesium, which is a nutrient that produces strong plant stems and healthy growth. However, coffee does absolutely nothing to benefit concrete. It fails to make it stronger, and it certainly doesn’t benefit the artistic appeal.
Actually, the problem with these delinquent pourers is they pour it on the ground in the exact spot the next person is going to step when exiting their vehicle. I have noticed they don’t do this on the way in because they would surely step right in it, so they save this stupid ritual for their departure so I can step in it. Although there are trash and recycling containers within five feet of their car, or a patch of thirsty grass only meters away, they feel the need to make me roll over in the wet spot. Stop dumping liquid shit outside your driver’s door, people!
